Don't wanna be nice

Seeing things in two ways doesn't mean I can choose the right
one. It's tiring to keep thinking of what is a should and what is not. Every
time I try to do the should, it was difficult but I arrived somewhere that is
believed to be a goal, I wasn't satisfied. I expected to be appreciated. I
expected to be noticed. I wasn't. And I was discouraged.

Could everything be such a discouragement? Of course not.
There are two saying of the result I got. I took the opposite of possitive.
Though other would have seen it differently, I don't bother thinking it twice.
The beliefe of first impression stays strong in thought.

I was cricticized. I have to admit, it's not at all at my
pleasure. Too easily offended. Always place it on myself and think that I am
thought to be not good. None actually had said it but expression shows it clear
with my own preception.

So I was said to always self-talk. It sounds creepy. Really,
it is. Btw, You gotta know why did I do that.

The part of not wanting to be nice is just another experiment
of life. Decent changes would make it be more interesting, a voice cam through.
Shall I or shall I not?

Sorry, it's a combination of thought. Couldn't tell what I'm trying to say here hehehe...