It was now and then

When I was a sophomore, I had a fight with my close friend. I edited her picture without her permission; the picture was turned into B&W with a shot of her sad face. She gave me a call and warned me not to ever do anything to her picture ever again. She hated the picture. I was mad. All I did was making it special for her. She saw something else. I stopped talking to her closely since then. I thought she was being unreasonable, she was all to her own thinking and judgment. Everyone loved it, not her. Really, I didn't understand why though she already provided me reasons. Instead, I wished she could have said that she doesn't like the picture that I specially made for her in public rather than talking one on one with me. Because I was hoping that everyone else would agree to my thinking and believe that she was wrong. I wanted to prove that my intention was no harm. I wanted her to see the good deeds that lies in such an act. And I wanted her to know that I was hurt.

I wanted and I wanted more. I did not try to see what she wants. I did not try to see the other side of my act. I did not try to picture the affects. I did not even bother trying to seek the reason for my own question "Why did she tell me so?". I kept believing what I did was right. I kept telling myself that she needed to respect my friendship for her. I did not try to see what she sees.

Then I came to realized. I was so immature. How could I stop talking to her when she was being honest to me? How dare did I ask her to accept what I give when she doesn't want to take; worse, hating it. How stupid I was to hope that she would showed her anger in public. How thoughtless was I then to lose such a thoughtful friend. She was trying to save my face. She was trying to save our friendship. She was being honest. She only wants me to take the real her. And I could not.

Then it comes to me that I don't know what I could lose with what I'm doing now.